mass updates: jan 2006
29 January 2006 @ 05:11 pm
Lonely People
I’m taking a breather at a muslim (obviously) coffee shop across the road from Great World city. And it’s still somewhat strange to see the streets practically empty while knowing that in 75% of the households in Singapore, there is a buzz of activity as chinese families move around making (polite/political) conversations. But there are the lonely people out there…
The foreigners and those without family or friends. to visit. Sitting in this coffeeshop, is a man decently dressed, carries himself well, with thinning hair. He wears pretty funky looking spectacles with rather outdated circular, thick lenses. He’s tall and skinny, and has got that today-is-a-holiday-so-I-shan’t-need-to-shave stubble. He’s eating a plate of Nasi Padang rather primly and he now and then pulls a tissue out of his shirt pocket and dabs his mouth. Now and then he stops and clasps his hands together as he looks into some distant vision and chews. Nothing extraordinary about this man except a deep look of loneliness, both resolute and desolate at the sane time. He doesn’t need my pity nor anyone elses but I still wonder “what’s up?” as he takes in his surroundings and watches the people come and go into this coffee shop; there’re the young couples, parents both young and old and their offspring. He chews slowly like someone who relishes his food, someone who’s watching the world pass by. What’s up, indeed.
[Posted with hblogger 2.0 http://www.hexlet.com/]
Current Mood: sleepy 
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24 January 2006 @ 02:47 am
of past pain and self destruction
An extreme few number of people know of my past paths of self destruction and desolate pain. I speak nothing of it these days, preferring to use those past emotions as tools towards self awareness instead of reasons to strike out. I’ve struck out too much as it is in the past. Vengence is a powerful emotion, but like phosphorous in hot water, it burns bright, hot and short. Lonliness is more like a slow burn, meticulous and tedious at the same time, like a cancer that eats you away from the inside. Faithlessness is a desolation greater than the sea of tranquility, the vastness of Space. All that led to one thing in the past — Angst. That then led to Anger, and eventually imploded to Wrath. Indeed one of the original 7 sins and one Sin I am most guilty of in the past. Wrath leads to Hate. I hated Life, I hated Them, I hated me. I Hated. But Hate got me nowhere. At some point I learned to begin to stop hating. I won’t go back. I won’t go back to that desolation, that pain, nor to the paths of intended self destruction. I will not hate.
“Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television. Choose sitting in that chair, watching mind numbing spirit crushing gameshows, wondering who the fuck yer are on a sunday morning…. Choose Life.”
Current Mood: 
contemplative
[Posted with hblogger 2.0 http://www.hexlet.com/]
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24 January 2006 @ 01:43 am
My Baby’s Back!
9 years after it left my hands I’ve finally gotten it back. This was the guit that I had when i was in school. It’s been on a very very long journey. Nag borrowed it from me way back in 97, and it’s been to Birmingham, London, France. It’s been stored behind doors, in closets, and cupboards and even hung up on the wall as decor for a gay couple that Nag rented a room from! It’s been played by my old friend Leon, and forgotten by Nag that he left it with Leon. Leon really took care of it… wiped it down, cleaned it, played it, restrung it. It’s been fantastic and it’s great just having it back again. This was the guitar that I lugged around in JC. Instead of my files and books, I lugged my guitar bag and this baby was in it! 
Wheeeee!
I had a pretty good day today… well it was shitty at first but I met up with and old Scout of mine and we yapped and yapped in the evening. He just might be my first recruit. Then I went to meet Nag and we yapped for 3.5 hours. It was excellent just catching up with and old friend. Wow. It’s been 13 years since we were classmates. I heard the story of his grandpa and stuff back in Sri Lanka. That was excellent and a real inspiration.
Current Mood: 
satisfied
